On Hair

It's amazing how much of a difference little things can make to one's everyday life. An accommodation here, a challenge there--it's those things that add up to whether I'm cranky at the end of the day, exhausted, or energetic and happy to stay up for hours and chat. Sometimes things that on most days suck, on a particularly day will be wonderful.

For instance, I was just brushing my hair. I've been growing it out for 3 years or so now, and it's gotten quite long--almost halfway down my back. I take careful care of it--washing it as it needs it, never blow-drying it, and never dying it, and it's pretty happy and healthy. I never wear it down because, while thick, wavy hair looks wonderful when worn down for 15 minutes for a jury or even for a short evening dinner, if I try to wear it down all day, after a couple of hours it looks like something the cat dragged in. So I wear it up, or in a braid.

As much as I love my hair, it's a lot of work for someone with shoulder pain--I have to wash it, brush it (which can take a LONG time), and, most days right now, braid it. When I braid it, I'll let my shoulders get into wonky, hypermobile positions without even noticing it. There are days where it hurts too much to do anything with it, and I'll just throw it into the World's Messiest Bun to avoid even looking at it. The bun, of course, promptly falls out. Thanks, hair.

But having long hair provides tremendous pleasure sometimes too. There's a physical, gentle pleasure in brushing out long hair that short-haired people will never know. It's why brushing someone's hair can be soothing, and why many women have fond memories of their mothers or sisters brushing or putting up their hair (my father helped me brush mine and put it up in the morning before school, and my mother often braided it for me before I went to sleep). Alternately, there can be a fierce pain and an aversion to letting someone do, or even touch your hair. Many people had traumatic experiences getting their hair done because it "misbehaved"--read: failed to conform to European beauty standards.

There are tremendous cultural pressures around hair. It can signify attitudes about conformity (think about the "long-haired" hippies). It serves as a gender and sexual signal; in the Orthodox Jewish community I'll someday likely be a part of, married women cover their hair. Will I have to do that? Will I be willing to? People even use moral language to talk about hair, often with racial undertones: what does it mean to have "bad hair" in many communities, other than a failure to look like "nice" white-people hair?

Hair is where the intersection of may groups meet: gender, race, ability, class, age. It's such a shame that it's used as a weapon in the culture wars when the stuff itself is neutral, or even nice. When the pleasure of simple brushing or combing or washing has been forgotten in a consumer-driven culture that tells you that you need THIS product to put in your hair, or THIS is the new style, quick, change your old one. Even if you're aware of this, even if you see the bullshit, it's hard to ignore.

But every so often, run your fingers over it and remember: it's a part of your body. It's beautiful because it's yours. And it's there for you to enjoy.